Product review 

Tally Pro
Wow do I love this app! I have multiple knitting projects going at the same time. I don’t have a problem, I’m a normal knitter:) Tally pro lets me not only count the rows on each WIP but you can also make counters within counter by renaming them. For example I’m working on a mitten and I’ve put the thumb on stitch holders to work on the mitten portion. I know how many rows I had left off on on the thumb. Sunsequently I can finish the thumb and make a counter description that says how many rows I finished with. I can then used that as a guide for the second mitten. I have a habit of altering projects mid stream and then forgetting how many rows or when I decreased stitches and the like. 

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Color

Working on a few WIP’s that I had set aside. Interesting that they are both the same color family, both are being knit double stranded and both are both shawls. One is knit in a triangular shape and the other is a rectangle. The triangle one I really don’t like personally but somebody might find it nice. The rectangle is more of a loosely knit pattern. A mix of hand dyed silk and a natural linen. The linen is stiff as I knit but will soften up after it’s been washed. Hoping to finish them both by weeks end. Set my current project aside after finding a mistake, missed stitch, and have lost the patience to fix it. 

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Who am I?

Lots of thought about that this week. What makes me smile? Working through the thoughts in my head so I can be the best me.

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Double knit

Picked the yarn for my double knit hat classes. Know I get to knit samples. 

   
   

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Journaling……not

I stare at the pages…..

     

 

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As far as I can go

I want to travel as far as I can go,

I want to reach the joy that’s in my soul,
And change the limitations that I know,

And feel my mind and spirit grow.
I want to live, exist, “to be,”
And hear the truths inside of me.

~Doris Warshay

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Home Office Complete

Not a bad view from my office! 

   

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rip·ple ef·fect

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Do you remember?

This is my world, everyday! I’m not complaining but it’s a lonely place to be sometimes.

Do You Remember?
By Ashley Ringstaff—September 3, 2015
I wanted to touch base (again) on the whole memory issue with MS, because that has been a really big issue for me lately. (Previous Article: Disability Stereotype)

I’ve come to find that my MS has a ‘selective memory’. Meaning, I don’t forget everything that is said to me, for instance. However, there are ‘blanks’ in some of those memories. I can remember talking to someone, what we discussed, but there are key parts that my brain just seems to erase.

This can be frustrating to people we interact with, on how we can’t remember certain things. I just sit there and I’m like, “Yeah, I know it’s frustrating… try dealing with it!” But I don’t want to let out my frustrations on those I care about.

I’ve come to find that with the hotter months here in Texas, my memory took a huge change for the worse. My husband would ask me something, and not even 2 minutes later, I forgot what he asked me. It’s kind of like, getting up to go to the kitchen to get something, but once you’re in there… you forgot what you came to get.

I know many people, that don’t even have MS, deal with forgetting what they came into the kitchen for… and it’s funny to laugh it off. But do you know how frustrating it is, to go through that feeling every single day, multiple times?

Sometimes, when I forget about something, it’s not that it actually slipped my mind. For example, if I have something coming up, on a certain date or time… I know it’s coming up. I’ve prepared myself to go to the appointment, event, whatever it might be. But then my mind decides to play tricks on me… get caught up and forget the time. I don’t even remember what day or date it is sometimes. Yeah, I know… I can just look at my phone. But by the time I get around to doing that, I probably forgot what I was checking it for in the first place.

Before you say anything, yes… I write things down. I put them in my phone, I do everything I can… but I have to remember to look at these things. Do I set an alert on my phone or computer calendar? Yes I do… but if I’m in the middle of something, I’ll just dismiss it thinking, “Okay, I’ll remember that.” But in the long run… I completely forget.

This is all something that I file under my cognitive issues aka “Cog-Fog”. Do you now how bad it is that I was searching for my cell phone, to leave the house to go somewhere… when I was talking on it? I didn’t voice that I was looking for it out loud… I was just getting SO frustrated because I couldn’t find it. I will be looking for my sunglasses, and they’re on my head. The list can go on and on. Yeah, it’s funny to talk about now… but it was extremely frustrating at the time. Then I just got to feeling pathetic afterwards, that I did something so ridiculous in the first place.

Same thing goes for; “Oh did I take that medicine yet? I can’t remember… “, So what should I do? Yes, I’ve used a ‘pill box’ before… but guess what? I kept forgetting to refill it! Take in to account that I have two young kids, that I don’t want to be able to get into the pillbox… and I seem to be always on the run, it’s easier for me personally, to not use a pillbox. Cause my daytime meds; I need with me when I’m out and about.

Now, let me clarify that I’m not sitting here just whining and complaining about this issue. I’m sitting here writing this out, because I want everyone to know that I’ve been through it too. Sometimes, when I’m sitting here writing even, I’ll think of something that I need to do but I don’t want to leave what I’m writing, because I don’t want to lose my train of thought. Well, guess what… I end up forgetting what I needed to do, while I was writing. But if you look at it a certain way, It’s a ‘lose, lose’ situation… because I either forget what I needed to do, or I forget what I wanted to write about.

When I’ve lost something, I will literally go back and re-trace my steps… I even do this if I forgot about something I thought up, hoping that retracing my steps will jog my memory. This sometimes works, but not all the time. Mainly because I don’t remember the stupid steps I took in the first place.

Doesn’t this sound frustrating? For those people who DO NOT have a chronic illness, they try and ‘relate’ to this subject… by making it seem like it’s not that big of a deal, and it’s not just MS; Talking about it like everyone goes through this. You’re right, everyone DOES go through this. However, do they go through it on such a regular basis? Do they forget really important things?

Let me just do a comparison here. Because before I had cog-fog, before my diagnosis of MS… I had a really good memory at some point; like photographic memory almost. Did it disappear? Did the MRI machine eat it? Does that ‘good memory’ quality now have a big fat white lesion covering it now?

I think one of the biggest lies I tell myself sometimes is, “Oh I can remember that; I don’t need to write it down.” **rolls eyes** I sometimes think I need to have a post it note permanently attached to my hand or something, so that I can write things down that I need to remember that day, and I can’t really miss it on my hand… right? I would hope not.

xoxo

Ashley Ringstaff

Ashley was diagnosed with MS August 2010. She is a mother of two little boys and an MS advocate for MSWorld.org & embracing life for what it is and making the most of every day.

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just another fucking cancer blog

You might think you know what’s going to happen next, but you don’t. No one does. Miracles happen every day. Sometimes they are huge, sometimes they are small. If you are scared, maybe it is because you think something bad might happen. Look around you right now – where are you? Are you safe? Do you see, hear or feel anything beautiful? In this moment, right now – you are okay! Stay right here now with me. And now again. We will make a chain of “right nows” where we are okay. We will do it and we will focus on all the good things that might happen.

Thank you Laurel

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Click, click, click

Photos, why do I take them and have they lost meaning? I snap a lot of pictures. I’ve been giving a lot of thought as to why and what I feel their, frozen in time, purpose is. I clearly understand that I want to capture a moment to remember or a moment I’d like to share with somebody who wasn’t there but I think that has gotten a bit lost with the ease of the camera phone. Am I loosing the moment as its happening by being consumed with snapping the picture and then looking at the picture to see if I’ve captured the moment that is happening right in front of me? Yes, I also want my picture to be in focus etc but the moment is happening while I’m fiddling around, it’s happening right now, right in front of me. It’s a delecate balance to say the least. Then there’s the pictures I take to remember something I might want later or again, like bottle of wine I had or a pair of pants I liked. All the things I see online that I screen shot to remember. Now there’s even more photos. Do I every really go through them all and organize them? No. Do I lose the memory photos in the mix. Probably a fair amount. Does anybody even print photos and make real albums anymore? I’m not saying any of this is bad or wrong but I do think we spend a lot of time taking pictures to share with people that aren’t with us instead of finding a way to have more moments with people, like with them, not them on your text, email, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter etc. these are all good ways to stay connected, if your not neglecting the in personal interaction. I’ve often thought I’d like to use my blog more as a photo blog, just a title and then some pictures without text. Nobody can really relive the moment your sharing with the same emotional meaning it had to you but they can enjoy it for what they see it as. I think I share photos as a way to connect with others. For all those people out there that are tired of seeing posted pictures of cooking, chickens, sunsets etc, don’t judge, enjoy the moment and know that it was something that made me feel and I wanted to share that feeling,

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Why do we take pictures?

“To keep things in your mind so you won’t forget what was. You can look back and remember everything. And that could be both good and bad at the same time. A photograph is a perfect recolection of an event in your life. It keeps you young, even as you age. You can go back in time while looking at a photograph. I take pictures so I can remeber what was. And that is a beautiful thing.”

Ashlee Bennett

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Just passing through

We are all VISITORS in this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our PURPOSE here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love…..and then, we return HOME.

 

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Dinner

Fresh clams, beer, diced smoked side pork, onion, garlic and beer. Side salad with olive oil and Montasio cheese.

 
        

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